There is a colleague of mine that I just cannot seem to work
with. I would like to think I am not
that difficult to get along with (at least in small doses), but this colleague
and I just do not get along. Much of my
frustration comes from this person’s arrogance.
This person never seems to take responsibility for anything going
wrong. Anytime we work together, it is always my fault, even when it clearly is not. This person seems to discount all
of my ideas in private, but in public, will present my ideas as if this person
just thought of them. I have been in
meetings where this person interrupts with no other purpose than just wanting
to be the center of attention.
And do you know what I despise most about this person? When I find myself doing the exact same thing. I would like to think I do not do any of
these things to the same degree, but I have been known to make sarcastic comments
in a meeting for no other reason than to be the center of attention. I have caught myself trying to pass the blame onto someone else. What I hate most about this other person is
what I hate most about myself.
This week, Mark Driscoll stepped down as pastor of Mars Hill
Church. I have difficult, mixed feelings
about Mark Driscoll. On one hand, he
played a part in my own faith development.
At age 22, I needed to hear his challenges to young men to be
responsible and accountable. The Caleb’s
Men group that helped me take my faith seriously was heavily influenced by Driscoll. On the other hand, I hate the
way he sometimes presents his ideas. I
disagree with some of his theology, but mostly, I disagree greatly with the way
he presents the gospel. Take his now
infamous “penis home” comment. I agree
with his point; sex is intended for our spouses. He could have made the same point without
making potentially offensive and inflammatory comments about women. Why did he have to say those things that undermined everything he was preaching?
Yet again, what I hate about Driscoll is part of what I hate
about myself. I love being
intelligent. I love being right. In many arguments, I have gone too far, said
purposely inflammatory things, and just shoved my argument down someone’s
throat. I even made someone cry once in
the parking lot after a seminary class.
We had a disagreement in a class, and even though he was in his first
semester, and I was near graduation, I could not keep myself from continuing to
drive my point home, long after I should have let up.
My intention is not to defend Driscoll’s actions or
theology. Certainly, his actions were
inappropriate, and he should be held responsible for them. But I urge the rest of us to take a step back
and look at our condemnation of a fellow pastor. Allow me to share some of the comments that
have been made on Facebook and on the internet by fellow Christians:
“I hope he dies of a heart attack. He deserves to die.”
“He doesn’t deserve grace and forgiveness. He should burn in hell.”
“I feel sorry for his wife he probably rapes and his kids he probably beats.”
Certainly, these represent the more extreme comments, but a
large percentage of comments are harsh, judgmental, and inflammatory. Why is Driscoll the target of our spite? Is it his theology about women or his views
of homosexuality? Others hold similar
views, and we do not respond so violently to them. Driscoll’s real sin is his arrogance, his
judgmental nature, and his hurtful comments.
Yet we respond with arrogance, judgmental feelings, and hurtful
comments.
Could it be that what we really hate about Driscoll is what
we really hate in ourselves?
I hope we can find another way to respond. We are called to love our enemies. And yet, it seems I struggle even to love
those on “my team.” I can only imagine that this serves to support the idea that Christians are hypocrites, and do not live what we preach. May God have mercy
on us all.
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