Empty Christmas

I am a hypocrite.  I do not practice what I preach.

I hate Christmas.  There, I said it.  I have hated Christmas for years—long before I was ever a pastor.  I hate the busyness of the season.  I observe how people kill themselves to finish projects at work, get kids to Christmas programs, attend work and social Christmas parties, shop for all the Christmas presents, stress over Christmas decorations, etc.  Advent is an endless list of cultural responsibilities, economic consumerism, and other distractions that take us away from what is truly important.  What’s worse is this idea that a “good” Christmas attitude is about giving presents to others.  But of course, this only extends to our family and friends who already have more than enough.  What a distortion of the gospel message.  I hate Christmas.  And I find a lot of churches, including mine, help perpetuate this cycle of Christmas craziness.

Naturally, I rally around the programs like Advent Conspiracy and Christmas is Not Your Birthday.  Let’s rally against this ridiculous holiday that Christmas has become.  When I was a layperson, I thought our churches didn't do enough to stand up against this destruction of the Christmas miracle.  After all, we preach that people are too busy, but we schedule extra programs during Advent.  We speak out against the consumerism of the season, but then we go out and buy Christmas trees, Christmas lights, etc. that just support the Christmas industry.  When I become a pastor, I’m not buying into this whole scheme….

Now, as I experience my sixth Christmas, I have to admit that I don’t practice what I preach.

I am spending my third consecutive Christmas battling illness.  I have almost no voice, a cough that’s barely contained, and I feel like I just want to crawl back into bed.  I had the same experience last year, and the year before that.

Here’s the thing:  this isn't just a random flu epidemic going around.  My body was sending my signals weeks ago that the schedule I was holding was unsustainable.  I just did not listen.  I pushed through.  After all, there’s a lot going on this month for pastors.  There’s the Christmas decorating at the church, the cookie exchange, the children’s movie night, extra work for the Advent services, Christmas Eve services, the kids’ program, preschool Christmas program, etc.  And new this year—ordination requirements, a special meeting with the village council, and a special musical number my wife and I had planned for Christmas Eve, until we both lost our voices.  And I have not even yet touched on my own family requirements, with Christmas shopping, Christmas cards, in-laws visiting, daughter’s Christmas program, etc.  Oh, and because January is a big kick-off month, I also need to working ahead.

So, I ask you honestly to evaluate my schedule, and yours.  What here really has to be done?  What, in my schedule, is truly important to the Christmas season?  What truly preaches the message of Christmas?  Not as much as I want to think.  I have stretched myself too thin, worn myself out, sacrificed myself at the altar of overwork for a secular message, far removed from that of the original Christmas.  I have done everything I hate about Christmas.  I have failed to keep focused on what is truly important.

People in our congregations know it, too.  Not everyone.  Some still think we work for an hour on Sundays, and that’s it.  Some see ourselves working ourselves to the bone, and wonder why we aren't working more.  But others get it.  They see that we preach against the busyness, against the consumerism, against what Christmas has become, and then fall into those same traps.  I just hope and pray they don’t evaluate the message of the Holy Spirit based on its servant’s inability to live it out.

I offer no solutions.  If I had the easy fix, I wouldn't be battling yet another year.  Just a word of advice to all of my #Refresh colleagues who may be experiencing one of their first Christmases from the pulpit.  We are not immune to the temptations of the season; if anything, we are more susceptible to the challenges.  Stay the course!  Keep your spiritual disciplines.  And take every chance possible to focus on the true miracle of Christmas.

And if that doesn't work, take lots of Sudafed.